First and foremost, breathe.
Everything your cat does is for a very good reason.
So the first thing to do is to focus on why she is doing it and what she needs. Use this page to start your search for the right solutions for your situation.
This page will give you some basic information about unwanted behaviour and the first steps you can take to resolve it.
If you notice (suddenly) unwanted behaviour in your cat, chances are she is sick and/or in pain. Cats are masters at hiding pain, so all we see is strange, abnormal behaviour such as not being washable, spitting, being aggressive, tense, lethargic, playing less, drinking more or just being different.
Make an appointment with your vet and be sure to ask for a blood and urine test at the lab, this is the only way to be sure! A physical examination is NOT enough. If your vet is unwilling to perform additional tests, see another vet.
This is about the cat's perception. An abnormal behaviour in the cat is (or started as) a normal behaviour but occurs with abnormal intensity (too bright), frequency (more than usual), in the wrong place, object or time. It is often a fine line to walk, so it is important to be able to recognise subtle stress in your cat so that you can intervene in time. Normal behaviour may be perceived as 'normal' or 'undesirable' by the owner, and abnormal behaviour may also be perceived as 'normal' or 'undesirable' by the owner.
This is about the owner's opinion. A behaviour may be perfectly normal in the cat, but be perceived as undesirable by the owner. It is only when the behaviour actually proves to be a problem for the cat, due to high stress levels and negative emotions, that the unwanted behaviour becomes a 'behavioural problem', which is often more complex and requires the guidance of a behavioural therapist to resolve.
So, based on the previous points, you can ask yourself: is this behaviour really a problem? Or is it normal cat behaviour that you, as the owner, find undesirable? If you understand why your cat wants or needs to do this, is it OK with you? After all, because you want your cat to be happy, her feelings are also very important.
For example, I always say, "You can either have cats or a nice seat, but you can't have both. Treat a behaviour problem if it is really a problem for the cat, or start to change undesirable behaviour into desirable behaviour.
There are a number of ways to resolve or improve undesirable behaviours and behavioural problems, and it is usually a combination of all of them. The first way is insight. Beginning to look at a behaviour differently, to understand why it is happening and why the cat feels it is necessary, can help to resolve the unwanted behaviour. The second way is prevention.
By making the behaviour impossible, you ensure that the cat does not fall back into old habits and cannot make the 'wrong' choice again. The third way is management. When stress occurs, we make sure the cat has handles and tools to deal with the situation in a desired and normal way. The final way is modification, where we can effectively change the cat's emotions and choices with appropriate training.
Punishment is part of the learning process and officially means 'to make behaviour diminish'. There are different types of punishment, forms we never want to use and other forms we need to change unwanted behaviour.
The form of punishment we never want to use is physical and invasive punishment, such as using the water hose, scaring the cat, shouting, physically pushing the cat away, etc. We call this invasive punishment. This is what we call invasive punishment and it is best to NEVER use it as it works with fear and anxiety and that is not what you want. Unfortunately this is the most common form of punishment.
The form of punishment we can use is called 'mild' punishment, and it allows the cat to decide at her own pace that something is not 'so cool', or 'not a good idea anyway', or 'not worth it anyway'. You do this, for example, by removing the reward factor until the cat does what you want, or by making something unpleasant.
Despite everything we know about cats, from science and experience, yet your cat is unique with its own needs, preferences and experiences. Therefore, the key to success is experimenting with options. Only that way can she show us what she wants to use, and that can be the solution to the problem. So start distributing resources such as food, drink, litter boxes, shelter boxes, scratching areas and heights very generously throughout the house so that you can make use of her needs at all times, any time your cat sees fit.
Take your cat to the vet to diagnose, rule out or treat a medical problem such as pain and/or illness. Make sure your cat has a urine and blood test!
Your cat is not doing this to bully you, or because she is angry, or because she is a bad or wrong cat. Try for a moment to see your cat as an animal, with needs and instincts and preferences and certain expectations of her environment.
By this we mean physical and/or invasive punishment, such as scaring, shouting, pushing away, hitting, putting the snout in the urine, leaving outside, throwing keys, etc. This will only make the unwanted behaviour worse. Either you do this by giving attention to the behaviour, or you may just make her feelings of fear, anxiety and frustration worse.
It is impossible to simply 'unlearn' a behaviour because there is always a good reason for it. Find that need (and here, of course, you will learn what it is) and make sure that she can express that need in another appropriate place, time and way that is also a good solution for her.
Observe the behaviour correctly and accurately. Keep a diary and note where and when you observe unwanted behaviour, and add what happened just before and after. This will give you data to work with.
The only way to help your cat's behaviour is to get her 'below the threshold of excitement'. This means removing all possible triggers (including yourself) in the environment that could arouse her in the form of fright, anxiety or frustration.
Whatever problem you have with your cat, it all starts with optimising the environment by creating choice and abundance. Use the rule: your 'number of cats + 1' = number of = number of places for food, drink, litter trays, scratching areas, hiding boxes, water bowls, etc.
Start reading and learning about cat behaviour to understand why your cat does what it does, because it is always for a very good reason. Learn about emotions, motivations, causes and influences of behaviour, instincts, needs, the difference between normal & abnormal cat behaviour, between acute and chronic stress and between unwanted behaviour and behavioural problems. A whole new world will open up for you that way, promise.
